First “Manatee Grey” and now this: Target will rename its “Orina” brand of shoes, after learning that “orina” means “urine” in Spanish. Give Target a little bit of a break, though. They are a French company and can’t be expected to be fluent in Spanish.
Iranian man claims to have invented time machine. From National Geographic – “Ali Razeqi, who is 27 and the “managing director of Iran’s Center for Strategic Inventions,” claims his device will print out a report detailing an individual’s future after using complex algorithms to predict his or her fate. According to the Daily Telegraph, Razeqi told Iran’s state-run Fars news agency that his device “easily fits into the size of a personal computer case and can predict details of the next 5-8 years of the life of its users. It will not take you into the future, it will bring the future to you.” Razeqi says Iran has decided to keep his prophetic time machine under wraps for now out of fear that “the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight.”
I see a dunce cap in Justin Beiber’s future (as long as it doesn’t mess up his hair): On visiting Holocaust victim Anne Frank’s house in Amsterdam: “Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”
But, a ray of hope in Hollywood: Comedian Patton Oswalt on the Boston bombing – “I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, ‘Well, I’ve had it with humanity.’ But I was wrong. This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness. But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago. So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, ‘The good outnumber you, and we always will.’ “
But, alas, it is Hollywood after all: Entertainer Jay Mohr on the Boston bombing – What bothers me most about today is that we are getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture must change.
Apartment 3 Geez: DC Comics has introduced the first transsexual comic book character, Batgirl’s roommate. Pity the landlord that deals with these two.
Made in China (and it can stay there): From the U.K. Mail Online – Eyeball cleaning is an ancient craft in China, where there is an old saying that cleaning the eyes renders the beauty in life visible. After holding the eye open and running his blade across the surface of the eyeball, the barber then inserts a small rod beneath the upper and lower lids and scrapes it back and forth. Mr Deyuan will provide a head and face shave plus an eye cleaning for RMB5 – the equivalent of around 50 pence.
Nothing says “living” like an eye shave and a rabbit head: From the New York Times – BEIJING — Bundled up on a wind-whipped day, about 30 people lined up outsideMr. Su is a sort of rabbit head evangelist, drawing celebrities to his restaurant, Old Street Rabbit, to help drum up crowds. a restaurant takeout window here, waiting for rabbit heads. For guests in the main dining room, a video explained how to eat the fist-size heads. Su Yong, the restaurant’s enthusiastic chef and star of the video, demonstrated by pulling open the rabbit’s mouth and separating the jaw from the skull before splitting the jawbone in two and sucking off the succulent meat. In case there was any confusion, brochures with diagrams rested on each table.
I find that I am stupidest at the things that I couldn’t care less about.
No word on the availability of “Manatee Grey”: https://spirithoods.com/Adults/Mens/42/218/
Nasty Rabbit, really?
Set phasers to “Cumberbatch”: Only the inimitable and unequivocal Benedict Cumberbatch could destroy the Starship Enterprise and portray the dragon Smaug the Magnificent in the same year. Oops. Forget that I said that about the Enterprise.
Unstoppable Force: Disney plans to release a new Star Wars movie every year, starting in 2015. Definitely a new trilogy, plus two spinoff movies – one about Han Solo and one about Boba Fett.
And speaking of new trilogies: There are also plans to revitalize the story Last of the Mohicans with 2 trilogies – one a prequel of the other.
More Mohicans Than You Can Shake a Stick At
Oodles of Mohicans
A Few Good Mohicans
Next to the Last of the Mohicans
Last of the Mohicans
Frosted Stakes: Just like our friends the Mohicans, it appears that the gourmet cupcake craze is now in decline. Sales this year are expected to be around 22% lower than last year. Responding to this, the ACC athletics director stated: “Cupcakes will always have a home in our league”.
Meanwhile, in SEC news: Former UGA star Jarvis Jones boasted a record score on the Wonderlic test, until it was revealed that he completely misunderstood the concept of the test, licking over two loaves of white bread before a friend stopped him.
And now its time for questions from our exponentially growing audience:
Help! I’m up to my rhombus in geometry homework! What the heck is a complimentary angle? – Kelli T.
A complimentary angle is saying things like “Have you lost weight?” and “You’re breath is as sweet as blueberry pie!” to people that you want to get something out of.
Ok. Then what is a supplementary angle? – Kelli T.
A supplementary angle is an advertisement by a health food store trying to get you to buy their vitamins.